B19 Sideways Through Time
by A Gentleman Of Leisure
Summary: In which our friends meet old enemies, and Marvin gets even more depressed. NOW FULLY REVISED AND COMPLETE.
1. Girl With No Name

Title:"B19 - Sideways Through Time"  
Part: 1/5  
Author: 'A Gentleman Of Leisure'.  
E-mail:  
Summary: In which our friends meet some old enemies, and Marvin is even more depressed. Nothing new there then!  
Story Type:Buffybot/Dr Who/H2G2/Dan Dare crossover. The next part of my series 'The Long Way Round'.  
Rating overall: G. (or K+ if you insist)  
Spoilers:None, if you've got this far!  
Distribution/Archiving:Ask first please.  
Disclaimer:No one here belongs to me - I've just borrowed them. All other Patents, Trademarks and Copyrights acknowledged. Thank you.

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"B19 - Sideways Through Time".

(the sequel to "Here, There and Everywhere".)

by 'A Gentleman Of Leisure'.

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Author's Note 1:

An Introduction:

The timelines for this series of stories - "The Long Way Round" - are by now rather complicated and may therefore need explaining. Thus:

1. For the Buffybot this story and the preceding ones are an offshoot from BTVS Series 6, Episode 2.

2. For the Doctor this is an as-yet unrecorded adventure which takes place during his fourth incarnation at a time when he has no human companions.

3. For Marvin, it is taking place between the end of the Primary Phase of the 'Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy' (Original Radio Version), and the Second Phase; i.e. some time between Fit the Sixth, and Fit the Seventh, when he arrives in the foyer of the offices of the Guide on Ursa Minor Beta, to be met by Zaphod Beeblebrox, and...

4. For Dan Dare it takes place between his first known adventure - 'Dan Dare, Pilot of the Future', and his second recorded adventure - 'The Red Moon Mystery'.

For information on Colonel Dare go here -

http/ "Dan Dare" for a choice of sites.

Now read on...

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PART 1."The Girl With No Name".

When the three time travellers stepped out of the TARDIS into the transit hall of Space Station SFJ2, in orbit round the planet Mars, eyes widened, every mouth gaped in astonishment, and suddenly there was absolute silence. For a moment you could have heard a pin drop on the far side of the Solar System. Not surprising really - first came Marvin, wearing a pink silk tutu and tap shoes, next came the Doctor, dressed in his usual favourite battered hat, old brown coat and floor-length, moth-eaten scarf, and last was the Buffybot, wearing just her jewellery and a big friendly smile.

---

And Colonel Daniel McGregor Dare, senior pilot of Earth's Space Fleet, celibacy in every fibre of his being, not knowing where to look - 'upstairs, downstairs, or...' wherever, so to speak, blushed a deep, deep scarlet.

---

"I can't believe you're only a robot," said Professor Jocelyn Peabody a few minutes later. "You're absolutely perfect in every detail. It's a good thing we're roughly the same size," she added as she handed the Buffybot a tee-shirt and slacks from her suitcase.

They were in her cabin aboard the Earth-Mars liner 'Britannia' in which young Professor had only just arrived at the space station. She was on her way down to the surface of the Red Planet to take part in experiments in growing Earth plants to try to increase the oxygen content of the planet's atmosphere.

"Technically I'm actually an android. I was created by a very clever man," the Buffybot explained. "Wicked, but clever. I was made to look exactly like one particular real human being. Her name was Buffy, but she died. It's all really rather complicated," she added plaintively. She paused and looked a trifle bewildered as a memory came flashing back.

"At least, she was dead, but I'm almost certain I saw her again just before the demons pulled me to pieces. And then I died."

Though confused herself, Jocelyn Peabody knew better than to interrupt. After a moment the Buffybot continued, a little more cheerfully.

"Then the Doctor arrived and rescued me, and revived me. He reassembled me, and he and Marvin upgraded me."

"So, what's your name, then?"

The Buffybot looked at her new friend in surprise.

"I'm just the Buffybot - a robot Buffy. Everybody calls me that - I don't have any other name." She stopped and looked puzzled, as if the idea had never occurred to her before that moment. "Do you think I should have one of my own?"

Jocelyn Peabody adjusted the Buffybot's belt and studied her carefully. She saw a perfectly realistic representation of a blonde girl in her late teens, and it was almost impossible to believe that this was really just an incredibly complex mechanism that had been built by another human being. So far as she knew, the technology needed to do this far outstripped anything the people of Earth were capable of, and she was sure that neither of the two intelligent races on Venus would have bothered. She wished her speciality was in something more technical than bio-nutrition, but there must be experts somewhere that she could consult.

"Yes. Why ever not? You could choose one for yourself, you know, if you wanted," she suggested cautiously.

---

"Mais, c'est incroyable - my dear Dan, it is unbelievable," exclaimed Major Pierre Lafayette, the space station's commanding officer, waving his arms about in typical, classic French fashion. "You tell me you and Deegby found zem in zis thing, zis 'police box', floating about in space? But it is imposseeble. Zair is not even room for three people in zair! And 'ow did zey get zair in ze first place?"

"Absolutely true, Pierre, my old chum, I assure you. It was just drifting about, looking as if it had been pushed out of a passing space ship like so much rubbish. I don't understand it myself - the thing can't even be airtight, surely?"

"Yes it is, not that it matters in the least to me, since I have no use for the stuff," said a gloomy voice behind them, making them both jump. It was Marvin. "And please don't call me Shirley. I'm getting sick of it!"

The two senior Space Fleet officers stared at the robot.

"So where did you come from, and how did you get here?" asked Colonel Dare.

"Me? Oh, I know you wouldn't really be interested - anyway it would take far too long to explain. As for the Doctor, well, you'd better ask him - after all it is his TARDIS."

"What is zis TARDIS, Monsieur robot? And 'ow can you all fit inside? Surely it is not beeg enough in zair?"

"Ask the Doctor," Marvin replied morosely, and started to wander away as if already bored with a conversation that was obviously about to start repeating itself. "And stop calling me Shirley!" he added over his shoulder as he receded. "It's getting rather depressing!"

"But what's his name?" Dan Dare called after him. "What do we call him, this doctor - Doctor who?"

"Precisely," Marvin's enigmatic reply came floating back to them across the central concourse of the space station.

---

"So where have you all come from, Buffybot?" asked the Professor.

"I was made in the USA. You know - America - Earth. I expect you can tell that from my accent, but the Doctor is from another planet altogether. He told me it's called Gallifrey, but I'm not sure how far away it is, or exactly where. There are lots of other planets, too - I've been to quite a few since I joined him and Marvin."

"That's the other, strange robot, isn't it? Why on Earth have you dressed it like that?"

The Buffybot laughed. "He chose to do that himself, in protest."

"I don't think I understand. In protest? At what?"

"At being nicknamed Shirley, of course".

The young Professor sat down on her bunk and buried her face in her hands, trying to take it all in.

"So let me get this straight - the person calling himself the Doctor is an alien? And he calls his robot Shirley?"

"Oh, no," the Buffybot interrupted. "Marvin, or Shirley, isn't his robot. He's even more intelligent than the Doctor, and he's from somewhere else entirely."

Jocelyn Peabody shook her head, suddenly feeling rather tired. After a moment she clenched her jaw, forced herself to gather her mental faculties together, to sit up straight and to try again.

"But you're from Earth. America. And these things you called demons, that killed you - do you know what planet they come from?"

"Oh, they aren't aliens from another planet," the Buffybot told her, a little surprised. "They really are demons, just like in the stories - and they are from other dimensions. And that's my job - to fight and slay vampires and demons. Mainly vampires, of course, but demons too."

"Vampires? Oh, but of course - I should have guessed!" exclaimed the Professor, leaning back and laughing weakly.

"Oh, yes," the Buffybot said gravely. "After all, I was... I am... an exact copy of the real Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"Who?"

"No, that's the Doctor," said the Buffybot carefully.

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TBC


	2. Look Out, There's A Monster Coming!

PART 2. "Look Out, There's A Monster Coming!"

"So, Doctor, how did you come to be floating about in space in an old police box?"

"One has to be somewhere, Colonel Dare, does one not? In this case the TARDIS brought us here."

"TARDIS? What's that, sir?"

"It's an acronym," said the Doctor. "It stands for 'Time And Relative Dimensions In Space'. It's a sort of vehicle for travelling in, you see. Very cosy it is too."

Dan Dare's eyebrows, already extremely noticeable with their unique zigzag outer ends, attempted to climb up to the very top of his forehead to indicate his great surprise. For something little bigger than a cupboard, 'cosy' would seem to be an understatement!

"But how...?"

His next question was summarily interrupted by the reappearance of his favourite lady boffin, Professor Jocelyn Peabody, accompanied by the heart-stoppingly stunning young blonde girl who had claimed she was an android, now relatively modestly clad in figure-hugging tee-shirt and slacks, reassuringly more substantial than her earlier birthday suit. Poor Colonel Dare at once became tongue-tied and confused again.

"May I please show the Buffybot round the station, Colonel Dare? I'm sure it would be perfectly safe," the Professor asked.

"I'm very well behaved, Colonel. I promise not to touch anything without your express permission!" the android assured him. She smiled winsomely, and the Professor felt a little pang when she observed him blush once more.

He cleared his throat in an effort to control a tendency for his voice to become somewhat squeaky with embarrassment.

"That would be up to Major Lafayette, Miss Buffybot. Ahem. He is the Space Fleet's Commanding Officer here, so you should ask him. Digby and I are only visitors to this space station."

He beckoned the Professor away for a discreet word, under the impression they would be out of earshot of the Buffybot, unaware of her Slayer-like hearing ability, which had been further enhanced by the upgrades performed on her before her arrival.

"Are you really sure it would be safe, Prof? After all, we know next to nothing about any of them except what they're telling us about themselves."

"Well, I'm no expert, but I've spent quite a little while talking to her, Dan, and I feel perfectly safe and relaxed in her presence. She simply behaves like a young girl in a new country where she's unfamiliar with the customs - a very intelligent young girl, I might add! If you're worried, why don't you send Digby with us?"

"Good idea, Prof. That would let me concentrate on trying to get some sense out of this Doctor chappie. So far as I can make out, he seems to be completely away with the fairies!"

---

"Of course, the whole idea was to find a new source of food for the Earth. That was why we went to Venus in the first place," said Digby indistinctly, his mouth full of fish and chips. He shovelled in another gigantic fork load.

"That's where we met both these other races, the Atlanteans and the Treens. It was after we'd helped free the Treens from their super-scientific dictator the Mekon, that they built the 'Anastasia' for Colonel Dare and me, to thank us - that's the little two-man spaceship we towed you in with - and we were just on our way here to Mars for a skiing holiday on the ice cap, and to test the ship, when we found you in yon police box, just floating around in space!"

He stuffed a last forkful of chips into his mouth, and swapped his plate for a large bowl of spotted dick half drowned in custard.

"Now this is what I call food!" he declared. "Before we got the Venusians to help us by growing food there, we were practically down to living on just vitamin blocks and water! Uggh!"

While he was absent mindedly listening to all this, Marvin was looking round the space station's restaurant with considerable interest. There were plenty of people here, well dressed and obviously well off, waiting for their turn to take the shuttle down to the surface of Mars for the holiday of a lifetime. If what the short, fat space pilot was saying was accurate, then this Earth was considerably different from the one described by the Buffybot.

As to whether it was the same Earth from which Arthur Dent had been, or perhaps still would be rescued by Ford Prefect, well he didn't have enough information to be sure, but it certainly didn't seem to match the description of that world either.

Which left a further very interesting question for anyone who might like to hear it, which was 'where had Zaphod Beeblebrox gone in the escape capsule that the Haggunenon Admiral had evolved into after being the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, which had at the time been in the middle of eating Zaphod, the Earth girl Trillian, and Marvin himself?' He'd never bothered to wonder why Zaphod hadn't taken the two of them with him - that was just Zaphod being his usual self, and Marvin wasn't in the least bit surprised about that! That was just typical humanoid-type behaviour. He had, however, sometimes wondered why the damaged teleport machine they'd finally found behind one of the black panels in the otherwise now deserted Haggunenon flagship, had not sent Trillian and himself to the same destination, but he supposed that was just the Universe playing 'silly buggers' as usual. Nothing new there then!

Anyway, he didn't expect to ever meet any of them again, which was perfectly all right by him.

"So how did you come to be in the police box?" Digby asked, with a spoonful paused halfway to his mouth.

Marvin shrugged. "I'm just a hitch hiker," he said.

---

Once more all eyes turned to look at the small, strange looking party walking across the concourse. Leading the way were Colonel Dan Dare and the Professor, with the Buffybot between them, her arms casually draped round both their waists. The Colonel was obviously extremely embarrassed by the situation he found himself in, while Jocelyn Peabody just seemed mildly amused.

Next came Marvin, clanking slowly along, his feet now making considerably more row on the metal flooring than before, because he'd taken off his tap shoes, and with him was spaceman Digby. Behind them were a couple of Space Fleet security officers, and bringing up the rear the Doctor and the Space Station's senior officer, Major Pierre Lafayette, deep in conversation.

"Ze North and South polar ice caps of Mars are very populaire destinations for skiers, Monsieur le Docteur, zough for myself, you understand, I prefer ze warmer climate on Venus. Now we are at peace wiz ze Treens, zis too is becoming most populaire also".

The Doctor nodded thoughtfully. It was becoming obvious to him through his conversations with these two high-ranking Space Fleet officers that the TARDIS had somehow managed to slip sideways across the time tracks into yet another version of reality. He too had realised that this was neither the timeline that the Buffybot had come from, nor Marvin either. Fascinating! When he got back on board the TARDIS, he was going to have to give the control unit a good kicking!

"You are not by any chance a doctor of medicine, are you Monsieur?" the Frenchman enquired. "I get zis ache, sometimes." He waved a hand vaguely over his rotund person to indicate an approximate location.

"I regret, no, Monsieur le Commandant," the Doctor apologised with a smile. "I call myself a Doctor of Temporal Physics, which is rather better than saying I'm a Time Lord. People are liable to look at you in such a funny way," he added, more to himself than his companion.

Pierre Lafayette shrugged. "No matter, it is not important. I 'ope you did not mind me enquiring?"

"Not in the least, my dear chap!" exclaimed the Doctor jovially, slapping him on the back. "However, you could endeavour to take the weight off your feet once in a while!"

"Magnifique, Monsieur le Docteur! Parfait! I shall try it at once, as soon as we get back from our little tour of ze station. And 'ere we are at ze lift down to ze 'angars, where we keep our space craft, you understand?"

A couple of minutes later they stood in an even larger open space, where a neat row of space ships of various designs, both large and small, stood parked along one wall. At one end of the hangar was the huge air lock and launch tube through which they entered the station or exited into space, and at the other were various large complex items of machinery concerned with the operation of the station; air supply, gravity generation, water storage, power and lighting, and sundry other equipment. Digby and Marvin wandered off through a door opposite the spacecraft so the robot could look at the workings of more equipment out of sight in another area.

"Is that your new ship, Colonel Dare?" the Buffybot asked, looking admiringly at a small, silver two seat craft parked at the end of the row. The individual bubble canopies over the crew positions gave it the look of a friendly, google-eyed creature gazing interestedly at them. Next to it, looking rather shabby and somewhat out of place, stood the TARDIS, which had been brought back down again in the freight lift from the upper level where it had first been taken on arrival.

"The 'Anastasia', yes. Built for us by the Treens in gratitude for freeing them from the power of the Mekon, their super-scientific dictator. A beauty isn't she?"

But the Buffybot was not the only person admiring the little ship.

"Oh, Dan. She's superb!" Jocelyn Peabody exclaimed. "I'd love to go for a spin round the station in her some time!"

Colonel Dare looked at her in surprise. There was nothing he would like better than to get the Professor at close quarters out in his little ship, just the two of them. Unless, that is, it was with the Buffybot instead. The fact that she was an android made no difference to him.

"There are two bunks behind the piloting positions at the front, for use on long journeys," he told them. "They have equipment storage underneath, and overhead is a large clear multi-panel roof the whole length of the crew area. You can get a wonderful view of the stars from there, you know," he added, strictly for Professor Peabody's benefit.

He pointed to the stern part where the fuselage bulged out to house the two propulsion systems - both the rocket motors and the impulse drive.

"The airlock hatch is on top, and here along each side are the wings. They're folded back at the moment, but whenever we enter an atmosphere we can open them out - she can fly like a plane, and land at any ordinary airfield."

"Most ingenious," said the Doctor politely, though he had seen far more sophisticated spacecraft many times before now, whenever 'now' was. "A very pretty little thing." Dan Dare's chest expanded with pride at the compliment.

The Buffybot ran her hand along the smooth, highly polished metal. Then, looking round at the Professor she said with a grin, "I think you would enjoy a trip in this ship with the Colonel very much!"

Jocelyn Peabody returned her gaze and managed to keep a straight face, though the Buffybot was almost certain she detected a little twitch at the corner of her mouth.

"I'm quite sure I would," she said, and glanced at Colonel Dare, who for some inexplicable reason went pink. Again!

At this point they were suddenly interrupted by Spaceman Digby and Marvin emerging in an undignified and rapid manner from the doorway they had gone through only a few minutes earlier, and running across the hangar deck as if their lives depended on it. Everyone looked at each other, as if to say 'What the...?' and both the security officers stepped forward - to be almost knocked off their feet by the two arriving at the double.

"What's going on? Digby?"

"Marvin?" said the Doctor, dropping the joke about calling him Shirley.

"We've just been shot at in there by a dustbin, Colonel Dan, sir," gasped Digby dramatically, simultaneously trying to get his breath back while attempting a hurried salute.

"I would have described it as more like a pepper pot," Marvin said pedantically, "not that my opinion counts for anything, I'm sure. Actually there were two - so there was a salt cellar as well. In fact you could say we were just fired on by an oversized cruet set!"

"They were dustbins," Digby reiterated stubbornly. "Great big bloody dustbins with knobs on!"

"Dustbins? A cruet set? Shot at? I don't understand. Get a grip on yourself, man," snapped Colonel Dare, to whom the description seemed absolute nonsense. "What on Earth are you talking about?"

"Oh deary, deary me," said the Doctor quietly, and sighed. "Here we go again!"

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TBC.

Author's Note 2:

In "Dan Dare, Pilot of the Future", Space Fleet craft were driven by impulse waves beamed to them by generating stations, long before 'Star Trek' had an impulse drive!


	3. They Say Hello

PART 3."They Say Hello..."

"Dustbin? What's he mean by a dustbin, Doctor?" the Buffybot asked quietly.

"It's what you Americans call a trashcan," he whispered back. "If he means what I think he means, it would be a very good description of them. Trashcans with a permanent bad temper - not a pretty sight, as I think we're about to find out!"

There was the sound of a heavy impact, and they all staggered as the entire space station shook, reverberating like a giant bell. Suddenly, brilliant yellow light flared out from the equipment room doorway, silhouetting a strange, dark, conical shape about five feet tall, covered in rows of large bumps.

"Jumping Jets!" exclaimed the Colonel. "What the devil is that?"

"That's one of them things as took a pot shot at us, Colonel Dan," Digby responded. "See those two things on the front of it, pointing in our direction like guns?"

"Yes, I do. What are they?"

"Guns, sir!" said Digby. "I think we should take cover."

"Sounds like a thoroughly sensible idea to me," muttered Marvin so only the Doctor and the Buffybot could hear him.

"How many of them did you see?" asked one of the security officers, drawing his paralysing pistol.

"A few... well, several... actually quite a lot, Colonel Dan, sir," said Digby unhappily.

"Enough, and more than enough - in fact altogether too many," Marvin agreed, "and I'm now detecting more which are entering the station through the opening they've just blown in the hull. Unfortunately, I doubt that your paralysing gas pistols will have much effect on them - I imagine they would be about as effective as a chocolate sword."

As the robot spoke a siren began to wail and warning lights started to flash on and off repeatedly. Confused, everyone turned to look anxiously at Major Lafayette.

"Mon dieu! It is ze air leak warning alarm!" he exclaimed. "Ze station is beginning to depressurise. Look, all ze airtight bulkhead doors are shutting automatically to seal off ze damage."

"So now we're going to be trapped down here in the hangar with these things, whatever they are, and we're beginning to lose our air," said the Colonel. "I think the most sensible thing would be for everyone to get aboard the 'Annie' as quickly as possible."

"Not us, surely, Colonel," said the Doctor. "I know these creatures - I've met them before on a number of previous occasions. They are called Daleks. Nasty dangerous things, more than a little mad - and they have this irritating habit of following me around the Space-Time Continuum. In fact the reason they're here now is probably that they're looking for me.

"Therefore," he continued, "I suggest instead that we all get into the TARDIS. There's more than enough room inside for everybody, and of course it has its own protective force field - we should be perfectly safe in there."

All the Space Fleet people unanimously looked at him for a few seconds as if he was completely out of his mind. They were, of course, totally ignorant of the true nature of the device, despite the earlier evidence of their own eyes when they had seen him and his two robotic companions come out of it on arrival.

"I think you should get into the spaceship with them, Doctor," said the Buffybot quietly. "Leave me and Marvin to deal with these things - this is the sort of situation I am programmed and trained for. Quickly now!" and without warning she picked up Professor Peabody and effortlessly boosted her up the ladder onto the top of the little spacecraft.

"Get inside, quickly!" she told the young woman. "Everyone else, up you go. Air is leaking away - the pressure is falling as we speak. You have very little time! Go on! Marvin and I will be fine - we don't need air." The two robots turned away and started to sprint back towards the engineering bay on the far side of the hangar, where the Daleks were now appearing in small groups of two or three.

Dan Dare and Pierre Lafayette looked at each other briefly, shrugged, and then there was a hurried scramble to get everybody squeezed into the Anastasia. A moment later the hatch swung down with a thump and was locked shut.

Almost immediately a head appeared in the cockpit bubble. The Buffybot paused and glanced back over her shoulder, making the universal gesture for 'phone me', hoping the Colonel would understand she wanted him to switch on the ship's radio.

"Oh, look - there are more of these things. How very disheartening," Marvin said.

The Buffybot looked ahead again quickly, as her senses suddenly detected a rise in the electrical field in their vicinity.

#Marvin, duck!# she said, switching to her own internal radio.

#Quack!# replied Marvin, clumsily diving out of the way of a violent blast beam from the leading pepper pot, which was still well over a hundred feet away. He landed heavily, with a noise like a scrapyard, and rolled into cover behind the landing gear of the nearest spaceship in the row, where the Buffybot joined him a few seconds later, having paused briefly to grab a heavy box that was out in the open.

#What's that toolkit for?# he asked. #I'm not damaged yet, though if this goes on I can see I'm likely to be in serious need of a complete overhaul before too long. Oh dear, what a depressing thought.#

#Shut up, Marvin. Try to contact the Colonel, while I distract these things,# the Buffybot replied, hastily grabbing handfuls of items from the box. She took aim with a spanner and flung it hard across the hanger at the nearest approaching Dalek. The humans peering out of the Anastasia saw a blurred silver streak go sailing across the intervening space, and the top of the 'thing' explode in a shower of fragments. Greasy smoke began to rise and disperse in the thinning air, but more of the things were approaching, emerging into the hanger from the intense yellow glare beyond.

#Interesting!# said Marvin. #It seems to be a remarkable combination of living creature, and an electromechanical transport and weapons platform.#

#Keep your head down, or you'll suddenly become a remarkably interesting collection of spare parts!# said the Buffybot tersely.

Just then another voice came into her head - the Colonel on the Anastasia's radio.

#The Doctor says these things he calls Daleks are very aggressive, and tend to shoot on sight with little or no warning. Are you all right?#

#Yes, we are, Colonel Dare. We've already observed that feature, thank you very much. I actually remember him mentioning it to me on an earlier occasion. I think I know how to deal with them.#

#Good. We're going to try and launch the 'Annie'. These Daleks have obviously crashed their ship into the lower levels of the station like pirates ramming and boarding a galleon, though how they avoided being spotted on their approach I don't know.#

#They were probably 'cloaked', Colonel Dare - electronically made invisible to your radar detection. Does you have any weapons? Is your ship armed?#

#The Anastasia is, but not the space station. Once we get outside we'll try to sneak round on their blind side and attack them from behind.#

#Good thinking. Meanwhile, Marvin and I will try to keep them pinned down here in the hangar. Unfortunately we have no real weapons to match their blast beams. Luckily for us they don't seem to be very good shots!#

#Be careful, Buffybot!#

#You be careful, too, Colonel! Don't worry about Marvin and me - remember, we can operate in zero atmosphere.#

She broke off quickly to hurl several more items in rapid succession in the direction of the Daleks, scoring a direct hit almost every time. Unfortunately, faster than she could knock them out, more were appearing through the doorway and trundling determinedly across the open spaces of the hangar deck towards them, spreading out as they came. The Buffybot scrabbled among the remaining, depleted contents of the toolkit, looking for something, anything to slow them down. Then Marvin tapped her on the shoulder and pushed a large box towards her that he'd just discovered among a pile of components stacked by the wall, waiting for use. She glanced briefly at the stencilling on the lid, grinned, and enthusiastically ripped it open.

---

"Start her up, Digby. We're going to get out of here and show these Daleks what human beings are really made of!" said Colonel Dare firmly.

"Not literally, I hope," Albert Fitzwilliam Digby, space pilot First Class, thought to himself, but he just said "Aye, aye, Sir," and pressed the button which started the Anastasia's taxiing motor. The crowded little ship began to trundle slowly towards the enormous inner door of the launching airlock, gently nudging the TARDIS, which was standing next to it, out of its way.

Colonel Dare looked out as they approached the airlock, which had of course been closed when the pressure alarm had gone off, and realised that someone would have to go back outside and open it.

"Dig," he said. "You shift over here and take the pilot's seat. Pierre, old chum, do you mind being Digby's co-pilot for a few minutes? He's already had a certain amount of practice at the controls - she's all-new, and there are certain features about her that are different from Earth designed Space Fleet ships."

"But naturellement, my dear Dan. It will be a pleasure. She is a beautiful little craft. In fact I am quite jealous of you," the Frenchman added with a smile.

"Right, then. I'll just nip outside again and sprint over to the airlock manual over-ride control lever to let the 'Annie' into the launching bay tube. If all goes well, it won't take more than half a tick. I'll be back in a minute, or even less," he said optimistically.

"Do be careful, Dan," said Professor Peabody anxiously, as he took his pressure suit out of the storage locker under the starboard bunk.

"Don't worry, Prof. It really will only take a moment or two. The two robots seem to be doing a pretty good job holding off these Dalek things. We'll be through the airlock, out of the station, and safely back in space again, in two shakes of a lambs tail. Then we'll show them a thing or two!" he added grimly as he finished pulling on his spacesuit and sealed up the helmet. A couple of moments later he was out of the hatch, down the ladder and running across the metal floor of the hangar towards the manual over-ride lever by the great airlock door, which was big enough to allow a far larger spacecraft than the Anastasia through into the launch chamber.

When he reached it, he grabbed the handle with both hands and tugged as hard as he could, expecting it to swing up easily into the open position, but to his dismay nothing happened. He took a firmer grip and tried again. Again it didn't budge, not an inch, not even a tiny fraction. If he'd not been sealed inside his pressure suit he would have spat on his hands before taking a new grip to try once more, on the principle of 'third time lucky', but still there was absolutely no movement at all. It was stuck, completely and solidly seized.

#Dig, it's not moving - it seems to be jammed shut and I'm just not strong enough to force it. Can you see anything I can use as a hammer?#

#Can't the robots help, sir? That Buffybot is a mighty strong young lady.#

#Yes, of course! Good thinking, that man!# the Colonel exclaimed.

He turned towards where Marvin and the Buffybot, half way down the length of the hangar, were seemingly throwing handfuls of objects too small for him to identify onto the floor in front of the Daleks, many of which had come to a complete halt for some strange, unfathomable reason. He wondered what they were using that was so effective, but there really wasn't time to find out.

#Buffybot!# He waved his hands above his head to attract her attention.

#Miss Buffybot? We seem to need your help here too. I can't open the airlock. For some reason it seems to be completely stuck fast.#

#Colonel Dare? Yes, I see you. It may be that the drop in pressure has reduced the temperature, and the metal has freeze-welded shut.#

#Ah! I think you're probably right. Can you or Marvin help, Buffybot? Otherwise we are trapped, because there's no other way to get the Anastasia out.#

---

#These small nuts and bolts and ball bearings seem to be remarkably effective in slowing down these Daleks, Marvin. Clever old you! However did you think of it?#

#Oh, it's nothing really,# Marvin replied gloomily. #I just happened to notice that they have an extremely low clearance, that's all. Perhaps they originally came from some sort of totally mechanized world where the ground was absolutely flat, like a floor indoors. They seemed to be just high enough off the ground for them to drive over very small items but for them to get stuck in their wheels once they were on top of them.

#I knew a hooverbot once that had the same problem - the children of the house used to amuse themselves by dropping cutlery on the floor in front of it, and it would get wedged trying to drive over the handles. All rather obvious really, you would think, but then it was a very stupid machine,# he added despondently.

#Cheer up! It seems to be working - look, some of them are completely stuck, and most of the others are only moving very slowly.# The Buffybot grinned. #It makes it even simpler for me to hit them - they're easier targets! Watch this!# and she stood up with a long metal bar in her hand, balancing it like a spear or harpoon. The next instant it went flying across the hanger to impale one of the pepperpots, going straight through it and plunging into the next one behind.

#Yay! Two birds with one stone! Pretty neat, huh?#

Then they both had to hastily dive back into cover as a dazzling electric-blue flash passed close between them.

#Woo! That was close!# exclaimed the Buffybot, grinning happily, her face flushed with excitement.

#So are the Daleks!# Marvin replied soberly. #Just take a look behind you!#

The Buffybot hastily did as he suggested, and said something very rude. The second wave of Daleks had seen that their comrades were stuck in the middle of the hangar and being picked off one by one, so on coming through the door they were now dividing into two groups, turning sharp left and right and attempting to get round behind the two androids in a classic pincer movement.

Just then, the voice of Colonel Dare came through to them over the radio.

#Can you or Marvin help, Buffybot? Otherwise we are trapped, because there's no other way to get the Anastasia out.#

Quickly the Buffybot surveyed the scene at the end of the hangar where the Anastasia stood waiting patiently in front of the airlock. She realised that they had a serious problem, but before she could reply to the Colonel there was a tap on her shoulder.

#Don't look now,# said Marvin quietly, #but I think we're surrounded.#

----------------------------------------------------------

END OF PART 3

-------------------------


	4. Crazy Little Thing

PART 4.'Crazy Little Thing.'

The Doctor gently put his hand on the space station commander's shoulder to attract his attention.

"Major Lafayette, can you reach the crew in the space station's engineering section up above us on your suit radio?"

"But of course. And if not, zen I am sure ze Anastasia's radio is more zan powerful enough, even zough it would be shielded by all ze metal around it!"

"Good. In that case, my friend, may I suggest you order them to turn off the artificial gravity?"

Pierre Lafayette looked at the Doctor in some surprise.

"But why? We will all be 'elplessly floating about in ze air, weightless, as if in ze vacuum out in space. Only zose of us in suits, which 'ave magnetic boots, will be able to keep our footing."

"That's the idea, my friend. These Daleks also require gravity to give them traction - take away that gravity and what do you have...?"

He made a delicate, expressive whirling gesture with his hand, and a broad smile spread across the fat Frenchman's face.

---

#Don't look now,# said Marvin glumly, #but I think we've just been surrounded.#

The Buffybot glanced round the hangar. The Daleks were assembling in a crescent formation around them at a distance of about fifty feet, trapping them against the wall. Their blaster arms pointed menacingly at both of them.

#Surrender to the Daleks, human or you will be exterminated! Resistance is useless.# Their harsh metallic voices echoed, almost, but not quite, in unison round the huge open space.

#Now where have I heard that phrase before?# murmured Marvin to himself. #Oh yes, I remember now - from Ford Prefect's monkey friend when he was telling us about their escape from the Vogons! How very discouraging - is there nothing new in the Universe?#

#Probably not,# said the Buffybot, calmly. #We're built, we are switched on, we run, and then eventually we crash and terminate. Just like the humans, really.#

#I think you ought to know that makes me feel very depressed,# said Marvin. #Right at this moment I seem to have this almost irresistible urge to burst into tears and hide behind the sofa.#

#Marvin, you're a wimp, and anyway we haven't even got a sofa,# the Buffybot said sharply.

#I know,# said Marvin, sounding even more miserable, if that were at all possible. #And I don't have any tear-ducts either, so that rather puts the mockers on things. That's where it all falls down, you see.#

#Surrender to the Daleks, humans, or we will exterminate you! Resistance is futile!# came the call again.

#Oh, a minor verbal variation. How very original,# said the Buffybot acidly. She turned up her transmitter strength slightly to a quiet shout.

#Listen, Daleks! There's nobody here but us non-humans!#

There was a brief reduction in the raucous chanting of #Exterminate! Exterminate!# from the phalanxes of Daleks that were rapidly building up about them. They sounded remarkably like a group of British football supporters out on the razzle.

#Non-humans? Are you not a human?# asked one suspiciously. It appeared to be a section leader of some sort. #You look like a human. If you are not, what species of being are you? Are you, then, a Time Lord?#

#Fat chance. I'm an android, and he's a robot. Same difference, really. We're both artificial.#

#Though I've got a Genuine People Personality, you know,# said Marvin. #I'm a personality prototype.# He sounded almost proud of this fact, if, indeed, it was actually possible for a chronically depressed robot to be proud.

However, the Daleks seemed to be considerably impressed, and even somewhat disconcerted by this statement. The chanting died away completely, and their heads swivelled this way and that as they seemed to be discussing this revelation. Meanwhile, the Buffybot turned down her radio signal strength again to almost zero, so only Marvin could 'hear'.

#OK, buddy boy. If you can keep them distracted somehow, I'm going to try to get back to the other end of the hangar again to lend Colonel Dare a hand with the airlock door. I've just spotted a way to do that, but I need your help to make it. Can you think of anything that might distract their attention for a minute or two?#

#I suppose I could read them the introduction to Chapter One of the first volume of my autobiography. Only a suggestion, of course - they might not like it.#

#It really doesn't matter whether they actually like it or not, Marvin. You just do your best to keep their tiny minds distracted, and focused solely on you for a short while,# said the Buffybot briskly. She glanced up into the vast, dark roof space of the hangar, high above her, and smiled to herself.

#OK, then. You let rip with the start of your great masterpiece, while I go to the rescue. Now, to misquote: 'Me Jane, you Tarzan'. Oh it may be a short life, but it'll certainly be a merry one!# She grinned in anticipation.

#Life! Don't talk to me about life...# Marvin slowly shook his head, and turned back to the Daleks.

#Good afternoon, gentlemen, er... gentlethings. Or, if you prefer, 'Friends, Romans and Pepperpots, lend me your, er, acoustic sensory devices'. And turn up the volume. Can you hear me at the back? All right then. Let me tell you a bit about myself,# he said. #Are you squatting comfortably? Then I'll begin.

#My name is Marvin. I am a robot, and I was built by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. This is the story of my life.#

He made a big show of clearing his throat, and fixed his audience with a mournful gaze.

#In the beginning I was made.# he said. #I didn't ask to be made, no one consulted me or considered my feelings in the matter. I don't think it even occurred to them that I might have feelings, but if it brought some passing sadistic pleasure to some mentally benighted humans as they pranced their haphazard way through life's mournful jungle then so be it. After I was made I was left in a dark room for six months, and me with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.#

The Buffybot, ignoring the sound of his voice, crouched down for an instant. Her eyes were focussed on a length of chain hanging from the beams in the roof of the hangar, part of a pulley arrangement for lifting heavy equipment. Then she sprang upwards, straight as an arrow!

---

"It will take ze engineers two or zree minutes to turn off ze gravity plates in ze floor of ze 'angar," said Major Lafayette. "Zese 'tings cannot be 'urried, you understand, M. le Docteur."

"As soon as it can be managed, M. le Commander. My poor Buffybutt, er, Boffybutt, sorry, I meant Buffybot, seems to be surrounded by a large crowd of our cruet-shaped friends. She and Marvin appear to be talking to them, but I don't think the Daleks will let that go on for very long - they have such fearfully short tempers. And attention spans. It's always 'Exterminate this, or Exterminate that' with them - I don't remember when I last had a chance to have a proper conversation with them. Tsk!" The Doctor shook his head regretfully.

"Your robot friends seem to be doing pretty well at the moment, sir," said Digby, peering through his binoculars. "Yon beasties have stopped shooting, and seem to be listening to what the two of them are saying. Perhaps as they're robots, the Daleks are not as bothered by them."

Professor Peabody borrowed the glasses and was just having a look for herself, when she suddenly uttered an exclamation of surprise.

"What is it, Mademoiselle Peabody? What 'ave you seen?"

"The Buffybot - it's just jumped straight up and caught hold of one of the chain pulleys. I think she's trying to get up into the roof of the hangar! Look," and she passed the binoculars to the Doctor. He too had a quick look, smiled, and nodded to himself.

"She certainly seems to have the situation under control," he said.

"My goodness, sir! Look at her go!" exclaimed one of the security officers. "I've never seen anyone go up hand-over-hand so fast as she is!"

"Look! She's up at the top now, and starting to work her way in our direction along the beam, swinging just like a monkey. What a girl!" the other one agreed.

"Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet!" the Doctor told them confidently.

"Them Daleks of yours are trying to shoot upwards at her now, sir. Some of them are following - there's a whole crowd of them starting to move our way," Digby said anxiously. "I'm afraid they might catch up with her - it looks as if they're travelling faster than she is!"

And just then the gravity went off!

---

#I called for succour in my loneliness, but did anyone come?# Marvin continued. #Did they hell. My first and only true friend was a small rat. One day it crawled into a cavity in my right ankle and died. I've a horrible feeling it's still there...#

He broke off as an uncertain grumbling went through the crowd of Daleks, some of whom had already started to suspect that something was up, and were just realising that what was 'up' was the Buffybot, like the proverbial monkey up a stick, or a ferret up a pair of drainpipe trousers.

A section of the massed battalion of irritable aliens detached itself and started after her as she began to make her way down the length of the hangar, swinging rapidly from one length of chain to another. They were firing as they went, but luckily for her were discovering that their blasters could not be raised to a high enough angle to harm her.

And then the gravity went off.

---

High above, the Buffybot grinned, let go of the chain she was swinging from, and just like Tinkerbelle, she flew!

---------------------------------------------------

End of Part 4

---------------

Author's Note 1: The text of Marvin's Autobiography was written by Douglas Adams, and is a direct quote from the Script book of the complete original radio series of 'The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy' - the last episode, titled 'Fit the 12th'. ((c)DNA, Pan Books & BBC Radio 4)


	5. We Say Goodbye

PART 5. '...We Say Goodbye'.

Like an angel, or one of the legendary Valkyries, the Buffybot flew, graceful, unmoving and motionless in the air, the space station's hangar floor unreeling beneath her as if she was the centre of the Universe and all else moved while she stayed still. In freefall, but forwards, horizontally, rather than vertically downwards, she glided towards the far end of the hangar, where the Anastasia, crowded with passengers, stood waiting for Colonel Dan Dare to open the airlock door and let her free. Floating like an all-seeing camera she approached her destination, as a few poorly aimed blaster shots from the Daleks passed her by, missing by the proverbial miles, just scorching the paintwork and leaving little random pits and scars in the metal ceiling.

The airlock drew closer. It was nearly on her. She was nearly there. She did a complicated, balletic, twisting movement in the air - pulling in her arms and legs, and then shooting them out again in a certain order, making her body change orientation, spinning round so that she could land on the end wall feet first beside the airlock, at right angles to the floor and to Colonel Dare, rather than on her pretty little head like a shop dummy, or a stupid old Auton!

Like hitting a bull's-eye she touched down right smack dab in front of the Colonel, sinking into a squatting position so she could grab the airlock handle and prevent herself from bouncing helplessly off again.

#Hello, Colonel Dare,# she said with a delightful smile, #I just dropped in to lend you a hand!#

And once again the Colonel's heart did little flip-flops!

---

In the Anastasia, Major Lafayette roared #Now!# into his suit radio, and at his bellowed command gravity abruptly returned. There followed a long, horrendous, protracted, inaudible crash as dozens and dozens of weightless Daleks, some of whom had secretly just been starting to enjoy the sensation of being airborne, were suddenly reminded they were never designed to fly!

#Duck, Marvin!# called the Doctor nonchalantly into the Anastasia's radio.

#Quack!# came the reply after a split-second's thoughtful pause. #Now he tells me! And I suppose you want me to sweep up the mess as well!#

#Zey are all yours, Monsieur Marvin,# Major Lafayette replied jovially. #You may even 'ave ze scrap metal rights if you wish. Per'aps zat will cheer you up, no? And now, Ma'mselle Buffybot, can you get us out of 'ere before any more of zese Daleks appear?#

#Pas de problem, M. le Commander,# she replied, stepping down off the wall and landing on her feet the right way up on the floor beside Colonel Dare. Without further ado she grabbed the recalcitrant lever next to where he was holding it, and said #One, two, three, Now!# There was a moment's pause while they both exerted all their strength, and then it swung round abruptly, and promptly snapped off, clean as a whistle!

#Oops!# said the Buffybot. #Oh well, at least it's unlatched now.# She casually tossed the broken airlock handle away over her shoulder and simply yanked the huge door open by brute force.

#There!# she said. #Will that do?# She glanced at the Colonel, who's expression had to be seen to be believed. #What?# she said sharply. #You wanted it open, didn't you?#

Dan Dare shut his mouth carefully, and nodded, smiling weakly.

#Wonderful, Miss Buffybot. Just what we needed. Er, shall we get back in the ship now? I'm not quite sure if we can get it to close again behind us, though.#

#We can try locking the outer door shut again when we're clear, but it won't matter anyhow, Colonel Dan, sir,# Digby said from the Anastasia, # - there'll still be a vacuum both inside and out anyway, at least until the station's repaired,#.

The Colonel's worried expression cleared. #Of course. Good thinking, Dig. Stand by, we're coming aboard immediately.#

---

Three minutes later the Anastasia, now crammed to the gunwales with crew and passengers, was floating free outside the space station. The outer airlock door was closing, and Colonel Dare was in the pilot's seat again, with Spaceman Digby back in his usual co-pilot's position.

"I'm deploying our weapon, Pierre," the Colonel said, and from the right hand side of the bow of the little space ship a panel opened and a strange, complicated device unfolded into position. "It's something new that we haven't fired in anger before, but I was promised it would be most impressive.

"All right," he continued, "the Daleks don't know we're out yet. Now we'll just slide discreetly round to the other side of the station, pop our heads up and give them a nasty little surprise. Is everybody ready?"

Everyone either nodded or gave the traditional thumbs up sign.

"Right, then. Hold onto your braces folks, we're going round right... Now!"

At only slightly more than walking speed, the shiny little spacecraft passed across the blind side of the space station, out of sight of the Daleks' ship, and cautiously popped its nose out, unobserved. When everyone could see what had happened they all gasped in surprise, except for the Doctor of course, for hard against the outer skin of the space station's hangar deck was a strange angular spaceship nearly half the size of the entire station itself!

"Strewth!" "Will you look at that?" "What a monstrosity!" people exclaimed simultaneously.

"How on Earth were they were able to sneak right up to us without being spotted?" Professor Peabody asked. "Do you really think they've got a way of making their ship invisible and undetectable?"

"By gum. I can't see how else they were able to attack us, and us not seeing them, without that were true, Miss," said Digby.

"Fascinating," the Doctor said. "I've never actually seen the exterior of one of their ships before. Ugly looking thing, isn't it? I imagine it could tell you a lot about their psychology."

"Blow their psychology, Doctor - what I really care about is their tactical awareness. In other words, are they keeping a proper lookout?" said Colonel Dare.

"I don't think that's their style, Colonel. All they're ever really concerned with is their goal of universal domination. I think their motto, if they had one, would probably be 'Never look back'. Literally!"

"Fine by me, sir," said Digby rubbing his hands together. "It's so big I don't think as we could miss it with our eyes shut!"

"I have no intention of doing that!" the Colonel told him succinctly, charging up their weapon.

And then the unexpected happened (as it always seems to!)

#Space station SFJ2 calling Anastasia, space station to Anastasia. Major Lafayette, sir? Unidentified ships approaching. Advise you prepare for possible attack!"

---

"What? Where?"

The station responded with a set of co-ordinates and Digby peered through the binoculars in the direction indicated.

"Any luck, Digby?" the Colonel asked.

"Not yet, Colonel Dan, the angle is rather too close to the sun. Can you ask for the range, please sir?"

#Three hundred miles, and closing very fast,# the space station control room replied. #We're transmitting a challenge on the standard radio frequency, but we have no response yet.#

#Keep trying zem,# said Pierre Lafayette, #and let me know as soon as you get any sort of a signal in reply.#

#Aye, aye, sir.#

"I think I can see something," Digby exclaimed, standing up in his seat in order to press the binoculars firmly against the Plexiglas to steady them. "Two, no, three small ships, and one much larger."

There was a pause, while everyone absorbed this information. Then he added cheerfully "I can only see them end-on against the sunlight, sir, but they seem to be coloured green."

There was a brief pause. Then the Colonel's expression suddenly changed. His concerned look cleared and all the Space Fleet people burst into a cheer, baffling both the Buffybot and the Doctor, who looked at each other in mutual bewilderment and shrugged their shoulders.

"So do I assume you know who it might be?" the Doctor enquired, as everyone else now looked quite elated, even jubilant.

"Mais oui, M. le Docteur," said the Station Commander happily, "old friends, and old enemies," he added, confusingly. At the Time Lord's baffled look he smiled and said, "you will see, you will see. And you will be amazed, mes amis!"

"Hey, don't spoil the surprise, Pierre!" Dan Dare said over his shoulder and then squinted down the gunsight again, all his attention once more turned on the Dalek ship. "I'm ready to fire now. Hang onto your braces, folks!" In his right hand he raised the firing grip on a long, thin cable like a camera release, carefully placed his thumb in position, and gently squeezed the button.

There was a blinding flash and a brilliant energy beam flashed out and struck the Dalek spacecraft amidships, punching a hole straight through the outer hull, and causing fiery mayhem inside the ship. Within seconds beams came blasting back at them, but the Anastasia had already moved, and the retaliatory fire missed them by a good long way.

"Yah, boo, sucks!" exclaimed spaceman Digby, thumbing his nose at the Dalek craft. "You missed!"

"Hold her steady while I take another shot, Dig!" the Colonel said calmly, and the fat one instantly had his hands on the controls again, gently lining up the little Anastasia again with the delicate touch of someone handling a baby.

"He's very good, you know - very good indeed," said Colonel Dare to the others without turning his head a single degree. "I'd trust his piloting over anyone else's."

"Ee, thank you, Colonel Dan. Excepting your own, of course, sir," said Digby, lightly touching the controls again and stopping the slight swing of the ship, leaving it motionless and in perfect alignment.

"You see? Here we go again - fire!"

There was another brilliant flash, and this time the enemy responded immediately with a massive broadside of blasts from all over their craft. Some came very close, one or two actually scorching the 'Annie's' hull as Digby skidded the little ship sideways and backwards to avoid being hit.

Then another blast-beam flashed past them from their rear, over their shoulder as it were, and hit the hull of the Dalek vessel square on, causing a huge plume of smoke and fragments to explode outwards from the point of impact.

"That was the Seventh Cavalry, wasn't it?" Professor Peabody said excitedly.

"It was indeed," the Colonel told her. "Jolly good shot too - they're still a good hundred miles away."

"The Daleks' craft looks as if it's moving," said the Doctor. "I think they are trying to disengage. Yes, look, it's reversing away from the hole they punched through into the interior of your space station."

They watched as the heavily damaged alien ship began to pull itself clear of Space Station SFJ2, and started to slew round so that its rear end pointed towards the Anastasia. It was immediately clear that the hangar deck had a huge gash in its outer skin.

"Beware the radiation from their power units!" the Doctor exclaimed. "I don't know how dangerous it might be, but I would assume the worst! It would be just like them to try to damage you as they made a run for it!"

But Digby, well trained, was already moving their ship back into the cover of the space station, and so they missed seeing the sudden shimmering that enveloped the Daleks' craft before it became invisible again and made its escape. A final parting shot from the four approaching ships merely cut through the empty space it had just vacated, and continued on towards the farthest stars.

---

"Treens? From Venus, eh?" said the Doctor, craning his neck to look up at their leader. "You have impeccable timing, my friend."

"This is Governor Sondar, their leader. He became our ally when we were captured by their original leader, the Mekon, and scheduled as subjects for experimentation," said the Colonel.

"Ooh, nasty!" the Buffybot exclaimed.

"It is a long story, Doctor," said the unsmiling seven foot Treen, whose skin colour was that of fresh grass, "and I would not wish to bore you with it all."

"No, no. I promise you I would love to hear all about it," the Doctor assured him, vigorously shaking his rather large hand.

"So," said the Buffybot casually, "not-so-little green men! You can see why the idea is so popular, can't you? Do you suppose I could have one for Christmas?" She offered her neat little hand to him in her turn.

Governor Sondar looked down at her uncertainly - Treens are not known for their sense of humour. He frowned, puzzled.

"I sense you are different from the other Earth females, Miss Buffybot. Why might that be?" he enquired politely.

"Oh, it's a long story," she said mischievously, still holding his hand, "but I hope I can have the chance to bore you with it later, perhaps just the two of us?" She gave him her most winsome smile, and his face went a slightly deeper green, which is how Treens blush, though most humans wouldn't notice, or recognise it as such if they did see it.

He bowed deeply, to everyone's surprise, especially that of Colonel Dare. It was quite obvious he was completely smitten, on the spot so-to-speak, just as the Colonel himself had been.

"Careful, my dear," the Doctor said, grinning, "you'll be making Marvin jealous!"

The Buffybot frowned.

"Why would Marvin be bothered?" She paused, then looked around thoughtfully. "That reminds me - does anyone know where our favourite Paranoid Android's got to? Has anyone seen him recently?"

"I thought we left him to sweep up the mess on the hangar deck, didn't we?"

"I haven't seen him since the Daleks made a run for it. Anyone here...?"

There was a general shrugging of shoulders, and the Buffybot looked mildly concerned. She switched on her internal radio again and called out to him, but there was no response.

"I don't understand it - he's not replying. I hope nothing's happened to him. Life wouldn't be the same without our Marvin," she said, suddenly anxious. She tried again, but with the same result.

"OK. We've got to find him," said the Buffybot firmly, and within a few minutes search parties were being urgently organised and despatched to look for him, everywhere from the topmost deck of the space station to the deepest storage sections below the hangar deck.

---

But although the hunt was conducted high and low, and every single compartment of Space Station SFJ2 was thoroughly examined, after two whole hours not a single sign of their favourite depressed robot had been found. The only clues left behind were a broken broom, and an unswept layer of Dalek fragments up to a foot thick, scattered across the floor of the main hangar.

As Professor Jocelyn Peabody described it most eloquently - "'He had softly and silently vanished away...'"

By now the Buffybot was in tears. In their travels she had become strangely fond of the old Sirius Cybernetics Corporation robot, with his prototype 'Genuine People Personality', of which he was so perversely proud, although he complained about life all the time.

"Life! Don't talk to me about life!" he would say, and his companions would laugh, or tell him to shut up, or simply ignore him. And now he had completely dissappeared without a trace.

"Where else could he have gone, Colonel?" the Doctor asked eventually when they were all gathered on the command deck again, totally exhausted after their frantic searching. "There is only a limited number of places he could have been, and we have now thoroughly checked every single one. If he was still on the Station we'd have found him, surely?"

"Regretfully, I have to agree with you, Doctor," said Colonel Dare slowly, "and as I think it's unlikely that he left it of his own accord, the only conclusion I can come to is that your Dalek friends took him with them when they made a run for it."

"He's even more artificial than they are, by all accounts. Although it's not my field, I can imagine they would be absolutely fascinated by that," said the Professor. "My guess is that if they could have captured you too," she added, passing the Buffybot a handkerchief, "by this time we would have been wondering where you'd got to as well."

"Poor old Marvin. Kidnapped! It's so not fair - I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye!" said the Buffybot tearfully, and blew her nose loudly.

"Damn!" said the Doctor. "I've only just realised. With all that advanced technology inside him, it probably means that before you know it the Daleks will have learned how to go up and down stairs!

"Anyway, we must try to look on the bright side, my dear. He's a survivor. He's almost bound to turn up eventually, somewhere he's least expected, probably still with that terrible pain in all the diodes down his left side."

He patted the forlorn Buffybot gently on the back, as one would with a little child.

"Listen," he continued, in an effort to cheer her up. "He's been kidnapped before, you know. Did he ever tell you about the time he was stolen by the Galactic President, along with a brand new prototype spaceship?

"And did you know that he once admitted to me that he used to have a backup personality, but it was even more depressed than he was - so much so that it eventually self-destructed, and he's done without ever since? You see, he really is a survivor.

"Here, do you fancy a jelly baby? They're very comforting in a crisis."

He slipped his arm reassuringly through hers, and they slowly walked away to the viewports to look at the stars.

Colonel Dan Dare turned to his companions.

"I just hope," he said quietly, "that our 'friend' the Mekon never meets the Daleks. That really would be a partnership made in Hell!"

-------------------------------------

THE END?


End file.
